Considerations
Meditations, Considerations, and Inspirations
DISCLAIMER: ALL OF THE INFORMATION HERE IS POSTED FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HELPING THE READER TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THEIR PURPOSE, PLACE, AND LIVING CREATOR IN THIS WORLD OF IMPERMANENCE. IF YOU WROTE OR HAVE COPYRIGHT OWNERSHIP OF LISTED MATERIAL, AND WANT IT REMOVED; PLEASE CONTACT DIMENSION JUMPER AND WE WILL REMOVE IT IMMEDIATELY. SOURCES INCLUDE, BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO: ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, 365 TAO DENG MING-DAO DAILY MEDITATIONS, THE ELDER'S MEDITATION OF THE DAY, WHITE BISON, ECKHART TOLLE, ANTHONY DI MELLO, THE GOSPEL OF THOMAS, HERB K, Dr. JUNG, THE AKRON GROUP OF AA, GARY REYNARD, JOE HAWK, AND ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTORS.
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Dismount your donkey at the summit
Some places in this world are very hard to climb, and people use animals.
Each person can only ride one, and each animal might have a different name.
The riders go up the trail in different order, and they discuss their
varying opinions about their experiences. They may even have conflicting
opinions. One traveler might think the trip thrilling, another may find it
terrifying, and a third may find it banal.
At the summit all the travelers stand in the same place.
Each of them has the same chance to view the same vista.
The donkeys are put to rest and graze; they are not needed anymore.
We all travel the path of Tao.
The donkeys are the various doctrines that each of us embrace.
What does it matter which doctrine we embrace as long as it leads
us to the summit? Your donkey might be a Zen donkey, mine might
be a Tao donkey. There are Sufi, Islamic, Jewish, Hindu, Christian,
and even agnostic donkeys. All lead to the same place.
Why poke fun at others over the name of their donkey?
Aren't you riding one yourself?
We should put aside both the donkeys and our interim experiences
once we arrive at the summit. Whether we climbed in suffering or
joy is immaterial; we are there. All religions have different
names for the ways of getting to the holy summit.
Once we reach the summit, we no longer need names,
and we can experience all things directly.
donkey
365 Tao
Deng Ming-Dao
Daily Meditations
Elder's Meditation of the Day "Peace... comes within the souls of men when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the Universe dwells Wakan-Tanka, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us."Black Elk (Hehaka Sapa) OGLALA SIOUX If we are to know peace we must look within ourselves. In order to do this, we must learn to be still. We must quiet the mind. We must learn to meditate. Meditation helps us locate and find the center that is within ourselves. The center is where the Great One resides. When we start to look for peace, we need to realize where it is within ourselves. When we experience conflict we need to pause for a moment and ask the Power within ourselves, "How do you want me to handle this? What would you suggest I do in this situation?" By asking the High Power for help we find peace. Creator, help me to find peace.
The Set-Aside or Lay-Aside Prayer"God, we invite you into this room, to guide and direct each of us as we seek your truth. Father, please set aside, within each of us, that which would block us off from the truth. Lay aside our Prejudices about what we think we know about this process, this meeting, and our spiritual condition. Remove our fears Lord, that we may hear your truth through the members of this group. Give us the strength and courage to share your truth with each other in a real spirit of Love and Compassion for our fellow man." …Amen
The Gospel Of Thomas"If the flesh came into being because of spirit, it is a wonder. But if spirit came into being because of the body, it is a wonder of wonders. Indeed, I am amazed at how this great wealth has made its home in this poverty."
The Disappearance Of The Universe"Salvation does not ask that you behold the spirit and perceive the body not. T merely asks that this should be your choice. For you can see the body without help, but do not understand how to behold a world apart from it. It is your world salvation would undo, and let you see another world your eyes could never find." "Seek not outside yourself. For it will fail, and you will weep each time an idol falls. Heaven cannot be found where it is not, and there can be no peace excepting there." "There is one major difference in the role of Heaven's messengers, which sets them off from those the world appoints. The messages that they deliver are intended first for them. And it is only as they can accept them for themselves that they become able to bring them further, and to give them everywhere that they were meant to be. Like earthly messengers, they did not write the messages they hear, but they become their first receivers in the truest sense, receiving to prepare themselves to give."- Gary Reynard
Morning Prayer And Meditation Outline (Downloadable PDF version of this file)PRAYER
- Set Aside Prayer
God, please set aside everything I think I know about myself, my brokenness, my spiritual path, and you God, for an open mind and a new experience of myself, my brokenness, my spiritual path, and especially you God. Help me to see the truth.
- Third Step Prayer
God, I offer myself to thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always.
Why am I taking this action?
A) I am an alcoholic/addict and cannot manage my own life.
B) Probably no human power could have relieved my addiction.
C) God could and would if he were sought.
MEDITATION PREPARATION
- Is my attitude one of prayerful attention?
- What is my purpose?
1. To improve my conscious contact with God.
2. To enhance my usefulness to others.
3. To develop humility; makes it possible to receive God’s help.
- Who is God – “As I understand Him”?
Is God:
Ø EVERY THING?
Ø ALL KNOWLEDGE?
Ø ALL POWER?
Ø ALL LOVE?
Ø ALL PRESENCE?
- Where is God? Do I believe God is deep down inside of me?
MEDITATION
1. Father, please direct my thinking, especially divorcing it from motives of:
Selfishness Resentment
Self-Seeking Fear
Self-Pity Dishonesty
Please clear my thinking of wrong motives.
2. THINK about the 24 hours ahead (DO-in) What will I do?
3. CONSIDER my plans for the day (BE-in) Who will I be?
4. VISION my vision of God’s will for me today (intent)
How can I best serve You? What is my vision?
5. INDECISION Father, please give me an
inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision.
Help me to relax and take it easy; to stop struggling.
READING
Select some inspirational/informational reading ( Big Book, Scripture, etc.)
REFLECTION
Be present to the Presence of God, allow the Spirit to guide your thoughts,
to speak to your heart and soul.
CONCLUSION
Please God: Please Give Me:
Show me all through the day
what my next step is to be KNOWLEDGE
Give me whatever I need to
take care of tasks and problems POWER
Especially free me from self-will FREEDOM
Show me the way of patience,
tolerance, kindliness, and love
Allow today’s work to provide an
opportunity to be useful and helpful.
What can I do today for the person
who is still sick? SERVICE
Seventh Step Prayer
My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding.
Amen.
A Manual for Alcoholics Anonymous THE AKRON MANUAL 1940 (Downloadable PDF version of this file)
Edit. This present text, available for printout at www.iusb.edu/~gchesnut, was formatted
for web by Glenn C. (South Bend IN) in January 2002; the editorial notes are his. His text
was drawn from one prepared by Barefoot Bob, who scanned the text of an original copy of
the pamphlet and reformatted it for web on May 15, 1997; see
www.barefootsworld.net/aamanual.html. The original printed version of the manual is no
longer published in Akron.
Bob says that this little booklet was written and being distributed within one year of the
publication of the Big Book, which would date it to 1940. On the basis of a number of
statements made within the text, it certainly could not have been produced much later than
that. This pamphlet assumes hospitalization at St. Thomas Hospital under the care of Sister
Ignatia and the overall supervision of Dr. Bob as the normal first step in recovery, and gives
recommended readings (e.g. the Upper Room for your morning meditation) which dropped
out of A.A. practice fairly soon thereafter, but parts of its advice are still very relevant, and
it makes very fascinating reading even today. We must assume that Dr. Bob himself (and
probably Sister Ignatia too) gave their approval to the statements made in this little booklet.
This is the first half of the manual, containing the most important introductory material.
(The second half, which is available at this site as a separate printout, contains a series of
assorted thoughts on learning to live the program and a long section on meetings.)
Foreword
This booklet is intended to be a practical guide for new members and sponsors of new
members of Alcoholics Anonymous.
TO THE NEWCOMER: The booklet is designed to give you a practical explanation
of what to do and what not to do in your search for sobriety. The editors, too, were pretty
bewildered by the program at first. They realize that very likely you are groping for answers
and offer this pamphlet in order that it may make a little straighter and less confusing the
highway you are about to travel.
TO THE SPONSOR: If you have never before brought anyone into A.A. the booklet
attempts to tell you what your duties are by your "baby," how you should conduct yourself
while visiting patients, and other odd bits of information, some of which may be new to
you. The booklet should be read in conjunction with the large book, Alcoholics Anonymous,
the Bible, the daily lesson, any other pamphlets that are published by the group, and other
constructive literature. A list of suggestions will be found in the back pages of this
pamphlet. It is desirable that members of A.A. furnish their prospective "babies" with this
Manual as early as possible, particularly in the case of hospitalization.
The experience behind the writing and editing of this pamphlet adds up to hundreds of
years of drinking, plus scores of years of recent sobriety. Every suggestion, every word, is
backed up by hard experience. The editors do not pretend any explanation of the spiritual or
religious aspects of A.A. It is assumed that this phase of the work will be explained by sponsors.
The booklet therefore deals solely with the physical aspects of getting sober and remaining sober.
A.A. in Akron is fortunate in having facilities for hospitalizing its patients. In many
communities, however, hospitalization is not available. Although the pamphlet mentions
hospitalization throughout, the methods described are effective if the patient is confined to
his home, if he is in prison or a mental institution, or if he is attempting to learn A.A.
principles and carry on his workaday job at the same time. If your community has a hospital,
either private or general, that has not accepted alcoholic patients in the past, it might be
profitable to call on the officials of the institution and explain Alcoholics Anonymous to them.
Explain that we are not in the business of sobering up drunks merely to have them go on another
bender. Explain that our aim is total and permanent sobriety. Hospital authorities should know,
and if they do not, should be told, that an alcoholic is a sick man, just as sick as a diabetic
or a consumptive. Perhaps his affliction will not bring death as quickly as diabetes or
tuberculosis, but it will bring death or insanity eventually. Alcoholism has had a vast amount
of nationwide publicity in recent years. It has been discussed in medical journals, national
magazines and newspapers. It is possible that a little sales talk will convince the hospital a
authorities in your community that they should make beds available for patients sponsored by
Alcoholics Anonymous. If the way is finally opened, it is urged that you guard your hospital
privileges carefully. Be as certain as you possibly can that your patient sincerely wants A.A.
Above all, carefully observe all hospital rules. It has been our experience that a succession
of unruly patients or unruly visitors can bring a speedy termination of hospital privileges.
And they will want no part of you or your patient in the future. Once he starts to sober up,
the average alcoholic makes a model hospital patient. He needs little or no nursing or medical
care, and he is grateful for his opportunity.
I
Definition of an Alcoholic Anonymous: An Alcoholic Anonymous is an alcoholic
who through application of and adherence to rules laid down by the organization, has
completely foresworn the use of any and all alcoholic beverages. The moment he wittingly
drinks so much as a drop of beer, wine, spirits, or any other alcoholic drink he
automatically loses all status as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous.
A.A. is not interested in sobering up drunks who are not sincere in their desire to
remain completely sober for all time. A.A. is not interested in alcoholics who want to
sober up merely to go on another bender, sober up because of fear for their jobs, their
wives, their social standing, or to clear up some trouble either real or imaginary. In other
words, if a person is genuinely sincere in his desire for continued sobriety for his own good,
is convinced in his heart that alcohol holds him in its power, and is willing to admit that he
is an alcoholic, members of Alcoholics Anonymous will do all in their power, spend days
of their time to guide him to a new, a happy, and a contented way of life. It is utterly essential
for the newcomer to say to himself sincerely and without any reservation, "I am doing this for
myself and myself alone." Experience has proved in hundreds of cases that unless an alcoholic
is sobering up for a purely personal and selfish motive, he will not remain sober for any great
length of time. He may remain sober for a few weeks or a few months, but the moment the
motivating element, usually fear of some sort, disappears, so disappears sobriety.
TO THE NEWCOMER: It is your life. It is your choice. If you are not completely
convinced to your own satisfaction that you are an alcoholic, that your life has become
unmanageable; if you are not ready to part with alcohol forever, it would be better for all
concerned if you discontinue reading this and give up the idea of becoming a member of
Alcoholics Anonymous. For if you are not convinced, it is not only wasting your own time, but
the time of scores of men and women who are genuinely interested in helping you.
II
TO THE LADIES: If we seem to slight you in this booklet it is not intentional. We
merely use the masculine pronouns "he" and "him" for convenience. We fully realize that
alcohol shows no partiality. It does not respect age, sex, nor estate. The millionaire drunk
on the best Scotch and the poor man drunk on the cheapest rotgut look like twin brothers
when they are in a hospital bed or the gutter. The only difference between a female and a
male drunk is that the former is likely to be treated with a little more consideration and
courtesy -- although generally she does not deserve it. Every word in this pamphlet applies
to women as well as men. -- THE EDITORS
III
A WORD TO THE SPONSOR who is putting his first newcomer into a hospital or
otherwise introducing him to this new way of life: You must assume full responsibility for
this man. He trusts you, otherwise he would not submit to hospitalization. You must fulfill
all pledges you make to him, either tangible or intangible. If you cannot fulfill a promise,
do not make it. It is easy enough to promise a man that he will get his job back if he sobers
up. But unless you are certain that it can be fulfilled, don't make that promise. Don't
promise financial aid unless you are ready to fulfill your part of the bargain. If you don't
know how he is going to pay his hospital bill, don't put him in the hospital unless you are
willing to assume financial responsibility. It is definitely your job to see that he has visitors,
and you must visit him frequently yourself. If you hospitalize a man and then neglect him, he
will naturally lose confidence in you, assume a "nobody loves me" attitude, and your half-hearted
labors will be lost. This is a very critical time in his life. He looks to you for courage, hope,
comfort and guidance. He fears the past. He is uncertain of the future. And he is in a frame of
mind that
the least neglect on your part will fill him with resentment and self-pity. You have in your
hands the most valuable property in the world -- the future of a fellow man. Treat his life as
carefully as you would your own. You are literally responsible for his life.
Above all, don't coerce him into a hospital. Don't get him drunk and then throw him in
while he is semi-conscious. Chances are he will waken wondering where he is, how he got
there. And he won't last. You should be able to judge if a man is sincere in his desire to quit
drinking. Use this judgment. Otherwise you will find yourself needlessly bumping your head into
a stone wall and wondering why your "babies" don't stay sober. Remember your own experience.
You can remember many times when you would have done anything to get over that awful
alcoholic sickness, although you had no desire in the world to give up drinking for good. It
doesn't take much good health to inspire an alcoholic to go back and repeat the acts that
made him sick. Men who have had pneumonia don't often wittingly expose themselves a
second time. But an alcoholic will deliberately get sick over and over again with brief
interludes of good health. You should make it a point to supply your patient with the proper
literature -- the big Alcoholics Anonymous book, this pamphlet, other available pamphlets, a
Bible, and anything else that has helped you. Impress upon him the wisdom and necessity of
reading and re-reading this literature. The more he learns about A.A. the easier the road to
recovery. Study the newcomer and decide who among your A.A. friends might have the best story
and exert the best influence on him. There are all types in A.A. and regardless of whom you
hospitalize, there are dozens who can help him. An hour on the telephone will produce
callers. Don't depend on chance. Stray visitors may drop in, but twenty or thirty phone calls
will clinch matters and remove uncertainty. It is your responsibility to conjure up callers.
Impress upon your patient that his visitors are not making purely social calls. Their
conversation is similar to medicine. Urge him to listen carefully to all that is said, and then
meditate upon it after his visitor leaves. When your patient is out of the hospital your work
has not ended. It is now your duty not only to him but to yourself to see that he starts out
on the right foot.
Accompany him to his first meeting. Take him along with you when you call on the
next patient. Telephone him when there are other patients. Drop in at his home
occasionally. Telephone him as often as possible. Urge him to look up the new friends he
has made. Counsel and advise him. There was a certain amount of glamour connected with
being a patient in the hospital. He had many visitors. His time was occupied. But now that
he has been discharged, the glamour has worn off. He probably will be lonely. He may be
too timid to seek the companionship of his new friends. Experience has proved this to be a
very critical period. So your labors have not ended. Give him as much attention as you did
when you first called on him -- until he can find the road by himself. Remember, you depend
on the newcomer to keep you sober as much as he depends on you. So never lose touch with your
responsibility, which never ends. Remember the old adage, "Two is company and three is a crowd."
If you find a patient has one or more visitors don't go into the room. An alcoholic goes to the
hospital for two reasons only -- to get sober and to learn how to keep sober. The former is
easy. Cut off the alcohol and a person is bound to get sober. So the really important thing
is to learn how to keep sober. Experience has taught that when more than three gather in a
room, patient included, the talk turns to the World Series, politics, funny drunken incidents,
and "I could drink more than you." Such discussion is a waste of the patient's time and money.
It is assumed that he wants to know how you are managing to keep sober, and you won't hold
his attention if there is a crowd in the room. If you must enter the room when there is
another visitor, do it quietly and unobtrusively. Sit down in a corner and be silent until
the other visitor has concluded. If he wants any comments from you he will ask for them.
One more word. It is desirable that the patient's visitors be confined to members of
Alcoholics Anonymous. Have a quiet talk with his wife or his family before he goes to the hospital.
Explain that he will be in good hands and that it is only through kindness to him that his
family and friends are asked to stay away. New members are likely to be a little shy. If
they find a woman in the patient's room they are not inclined to "let down their hair."
The older hands don't mind it, but a new member might unwittingly be kept from delivering
a valuable message.
IV
TO THE NEWCOMER: Now you are in the hospital. Or perhaps you are learning to
be an Alcoholic Anonymous the "hard way" by continuing at your job while undertaking
sobriety.
You will have many callers. They will come singly and in pairs. They may arrive at all
hours, from early morning to late night. Some you will like; some you will resent, some
will seem stupid; others will strike you as silly, fanatic or slightly insane; some will tell you
a story that will be "right down your alley." But remember this -- never for one minute
forget it:
Every single one of them is a former drunk and every single one is trying to help you!
Your visitor has had the very problems that you are facing now. In comparison with some,
your problems are trifles. You have one thing in common with every visitor -- an alcoholic
problem. Your caller may have been sober for a week or for half a decade. He still has an
alcoholic problem, and if he for one moment forgets to follow any single rule for sober
living, he may be occupying your hospital bed tomorrow. Alcoholics Anonymous is one hundred
percent effective for those who faithfully follow the rules. IT IS THOSE WHO TRY TO CUT
CORNERS WHO FIND THEMSELVES BACK IN THEIR OLD DRUNKEN STATE. Your visitor is going out of
his way, taking up his time, perhaps missing a pleasant evening at home or at the theater
by calling on you. His motives are twofold: He is selfish in that by calling on you he is
taking out a little more "sobriety insurance" for himself; and secondly, he is genuinely
anxious to pass along the peace and happiness a new way of life has brought him.
He is also paying off a debt -- paying the people who led him to the path of sobriety by
helping someone else. In a very short time you too will find yourself paying off your debt,
by carrying the word to another. Always bear in mind that your caller not so many days or
months ago occupied the same bed you are in today. And here we might, despite our promise
earlier in the booklet, give you a hint on the spiritual phase of Alcoholics Anonymous.
You will be told to have faith in a Higher Power. First have faith in your visitor.
He is sincere. He is not lying to you. He is not attempting to sell you a bill of goods.
A.A. is given away, not sold. Believe him when he tells you what you must do to attain sobriety.
His very presence and appearance should be proof to you that the A.A. program really
works. He is extending a helping hand and for himself asks nothing in return. Regardless of
who he is or what he has to say, listen to him carefully and courteously. Your alcohol befuddled
mind may not absorb all he says in an hour's conversation, but you will find that
when he leaves certain things he has said will come back to you. Ponder these things
carefully. They may bring you salvation. It has been the history of A.A. that one never
knows where lightning will strike. You may pick up the germ of an idea from the most
unexpected source. That single idea may shape the course of your entire life, may be the
start of an entirely new philosophy. So no matter who your caller is, or what he says, listen
attentively. Your problem has always seemed to be shared by no one else in this world. You cannot
conceive of anyone else in your predicament. Forget it! Your problem dates back to the
very beginning of history. Some long forgotten hero discovered that the juice of the
grape made a pleasant drink that brought pleasant results. That same hero probably drank
copiously until he suddenly discovered that he could not control his appetite for the
juice of the grape. And then he found himself in the same predicament you are in now -- sick,
worried, crazed with fear, and extremely thirsty. Your caller once felt that he alone
in the world had a drinking problem, and was amazed into sobriety when he discovered that
countless thousands were sharing his troubles. He also found out that when he brought
his troubles out of their dark and secret hiding place and exposed them to the cleansing
light of day, they were half conquered. And so it will be for you. Bring your problems
out in the open and you will be amazed how they disappear.
It cannot be repeated too often: Listen carefully and think over at great length.
V
NOW YOU ARE ALONE. When you go to the hospital with typhoid fever your one
thought is to be cured. When you go to the hospital as a chronic alcoholic your only thought
should be to conquer a disease that is just as deadly if not so quick to kill. And rest assured
that the disease is deadly. The mental hospitals are filled with chronic alcoholics. The vital
statistics files in every community are filled with deaths due to acute alcoholism This is
the most serious moment in your life. You can leave the hospital and resume an alcoholic
road to an untimely grave or padded cell, or you can start upward to a life that is happy
beyond any expectation. It is your choice and your choice alone. Your newly found friends cannot
police you to keep you sober. They have neither the time nor the inclination. They will
go to unbelievable lengths to help you but there is a limit to all things. Shortly after
you leave the hospital you will be on your own. The Bible tells us to put "first things
first." Alcohol is obviously the first thing in your life. So concentrate on conquering it.
You could have gone through the mechanics of sobering up at home. Your new friends could have
called on you in your own living room. But at home there would have been a hundred and one
things to distract your attention -- the radio, the furnace, a broken screen door, a walk
to the drug store, your own family affairs. Every one of these things would make you forget
the most important thing in your life, the thing upon which depends life or death --
complete and endless sobriety. That is why you are in the hospital. You have time to think;
you have time to read; you will have time to examine your life, past and present, and to
reflect upon what it can be in the future. And don't be in a hurry to leave. Your sponsor
knows best. Stay in the hospital until you have at least a rudimentary understanding of the
program. There is the Bible that you haven't opened for years. Get acquainted with it.
Read it with an open mind. You will find things that will amaze you. You will be convinced that
certain passages were written with you in mind. Read the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew
V, VI, and VII). Read St. Paul's inspired essay on love (I Corinthians XIII). Read the Book
of James. Read the Twenty-third and Ninety-first Psalms. These readings are brief but so
important. Read Alcoholics Anonymous and then read it again. You may find that it contains your
own story. It will become your second Bible. Ask your callers to suggest other readings.
If you are puzzled, ask questions. One of your callers will know the answers. Get your
sponsor to explain to you the Twelve Steps. If he is not too certain about them -- he may be
new in this work -- ask someone else. The Twelve Steps are listed in the back of this booklet.
There is no standing still in A.A. You either forge ahead or slip backwards. Even the oldest
members, the founders, learn something new almost every day. You can never learn too much
in the search for sobriety.
VI
NOW YOU ARE OUT OF THE HOSPITAL By this time you should know if you
want to go along with A.A., or if you want to slip back into that old headache that you
called life. You are physically sober and well -- a bit shaky, perhaps, but that will wear off
in a short time. Reflect that you didn't get into this condition over night, and that you cannot
expect to get out of it in a couple of hours or days. You feel good enough to go on another
bender, or good enough to try a different scheme of things -- sobriety. You have decided
to go along with Alcoholics Anonymous? Very well, you will never regret it. First off,
your day will have a new pattern. You will open the day with a quiet period. This will
be explained by your sponsor. You will read the Upper Room, or whatever you think best
for yourself. You will say a little prayer asking for help during the day. You will go
about your daily work, and your associates will be surprised at you clear-eyed, the disappearance
of that haunted look and your willingness to make up for the past. Your sponsor may drop
in to see you, or call you on the telephone. There may be a meeting of an A.A. group.
Attend it without question. You have no valid excuse except sickness or being out of town,
for not attending. You may call on a new patient. Don't wait until tomorrow to do this.
You will find the work fascinating. You will find a kindred soul. And you will be giving yourself
a new boost along the road to sobriety. Finally, at the end of the day you will say
another little prayer of thanks and gratitude for a day of sobriety. You will have lived a
full day -- a full, constructive day. And you will be grateful. You feel that you have
nothing to say to a new patient? No story to tell? Nonsense! You have been sober for a day,
or for a week. Obviously, you must have done something to stay sober, even for that short length
of time. That is your story. And believe it or not, the patient won't realize that you are
nearly as much of a tyro as he is. Definitely you have something to say. And with each succeeding
visit you will find that your story comes easier, that you have more confidence in your ability
to be of help. The harder you work at sobriety the easier it is to remain sober. Your sponsor
will take you to your first meeting. You will find it new, but inspiration. You will find an
atmosphere of peace and contentment that you didn't know existed. After you have attended
several meetings it will be your duty to get up on your feet and say something. You will
have something to say, even if it is only to express gratitude to the group for having
helped you. Before many months have passed you will be asked to lead a meeting. Don't try
to put it off with excuses. It is part of the program. Even if you don't think highly of
yourself as a public speaker, remember you are among friends, and that your friends also a
re ex-drunks. Get in contact with your new friends. Call them up. Drop in at their homes or
offices. The door is always open to a fellow-alcoholic. Before long you will have a new
thrill -- the thrill of helping someone else. There is no greater satisfaction in the world than
watching the progress of a new Alcoholic Anonymous. When you first see him in his hospital bed he
may be unshaved, bleary-eyed, dirty, incoherent. Perhaps the next day he has shaved and cleaned
up. A day later his eyes are brighter, new color has come into his face. He talks more
intelligently. He leaves the hospital, goes to work, and buys some new clothes. And in a month you
will hardly recognize him as the derelict you first met in the hospital. No whisky in the world
can give you this thrill. Above all, remember this: keep the rules in mind. As long as you
follow them you are on firm ground. But the least deviation -- and you are vulnerable.
AS A NEW MEMBER, remember that you are one of the most important cogs in the machinery of A.A.
Without the work of the new member, A.A. could not have grown as it has. You will bring into this
work a fresh enthusiasm, the zeal of a crusader. You will want everyone to share with you the
blessings of this new life. You will be tireless in your efforts to help others. And it is a
splendid enthusiasm! Cherish it as long as you can. It is not likely that your fresh enthusiasm
will last forever. You will find, however, that as initial enthusiasm wanes, it is replaced with a
greater understanding, deeper sympathy, and more complete knowledge. You will eventually become an
"elder statesman" of A.A. and you will be able to use your knowledge to help not only brand new
members, but those who have been members for a year or more, but who still have perplexing
problems. And as a new member, do not hesitate to bring your problems to these "elder
statesmen." They may be able to solve your headaches and make easier your pain.
And now you are ready to go back and read Part III of this booklet. For you are ready to
sponsor some other poor alcoholic who is desperately in need of help, both human and Divine.
So God bless you and keep you.
Yardstick for Alcoholics
THE PROSPECTIVE MEMBER of A.A. may have some doubts if he is actually an
alcoholic. A.A. in Akron has found a yardstick prepared by psychiatrists of Johns Hopkins
University to be very valuable in helping the alcoholic decide for himself.
Have your prospect answer the following questions, being as honest as possible with
himself in deciding the answers. If he answers YES to one of the questions, there is a
definite warning that he MAY be an alcoholic. If he answers YES to any two, the chances
are that he IS an alcoholic. If he answers YES to any three or more, he IS DEFINITELY an
alcoholic and in need of help.
The questions:
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
6. Have you ever stolen, pawned property, or "borrowed" to get money for alcoholic
beverages ?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or troubles?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?
Random Thoughts
NOW THAT YOU ARE SOBER, you naturally feel that you want to make restitution
in every possible way for the trouble you have caused your family, your friends, others.
You want to get back on the job -- if you still have a job -- earn money, pay your immediate
debts and obligations of long standing and almost forgotten. Money -- you must have
money, you think. And you also want to make restitution in action in many ways not
financial. If you could wave a magic wand and do all these things you would do it, wouldn't
you? Well, don't be in a hurry. You can't do all these things overnight. But you can do them --
gradually, step by step. You may safely leave these matters to a Higher Power as you
perhaps ponder them in your morning period of contemplation. If you are sincerely resolved
to do your part, they will all be adjusted. "Be still and know that I am God."
SOBRIETY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE, without exception. You may believe your
job, or your home life, or one of many other things comes first. But consider, if you do not
get sober and stay sober, chances are you won't have a job, a family, or even sanity or life.
If you are convinced that everything in life depends on your sobriety, you have just so much
more chance of getting sober and staying sober. If you put other things first you are
only hurting your chances. YOU AREN'T very important in this world. If you lose your job
someone better will replace you. If you die your wife will mourn briefly, and then remarry.
Your children will grow up and you will be but a memory. In the last analysis, you are the
only one who benefits by your sobriety. Seek to cultivate humility. Remember that cockiness
leads to a speedy fall.
IF YOU THINK you can cheat -- sneak a drink or two without anyone else knowing --
remember, you are only cheating yourself. You are the one who will be hurt by conscience.
You are the one who will suffer a hangover. And you are the one who will return to a
hospital bed. Bear constantly in mind that you are only one drink away from trouble. Whether you
have been sober a day, a month, a year or a decade, one single drink is a certain way to go
off on a binge or a series of binges. It is the first drink -- not the second, fifth or
twentieth -- that causes the trouble. And remember, the more A.A. work you do, the harder
you train, the less likely it is that you will take that first drink. It is something like
two boxers. If they are of the same weight, the same strength and the same ability, and
only one trains faithfully while the other spends his time in night clubs and bars, it
is pretty sure that the man who trains will be the winner. So let attendance at meetings
be your road work; helping newcomers your sparring and shadow boxing; your reading,
meditation and clear thinking your gymnasium work; and you won't have to fear a knockout
at the hands of John Barleycorn.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the
things itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. -- Matthew VI, 34.
These words are taken from the Sermon on the Mount. Simply, they mean live in today
only. Forget yesterday. Do not anticipate tomorrow. You can only live one day at a time,
and if you do a good job of that, you will have little trouble. One of the easiest, most
practical ways of keeping sober ever devised is the day by day plan, the 24-hour plan.
You know that it is possible to stay sober for 24 hours. You have done it many times.
All right. Stay sober for one day at a time. When you get up in the morning make up your
mind that you will not take a drink for the entire day. Ask the Greater Power for a little help
in this. If anyone asks you to have a drink, take a rain check. Say you will have it
tomorrow. Then when you go to bed at night, finding yourself sober, say a little word of
thanks to the Greater Power for having helped you. Repeat the performance the next day.
And the next. Before you realize it you will have been sober a week, a month, a year.
And yet you will have only been sober a day at a time. If you set a time limit on your
sobriety you will be looking forward to that day, and each day will be a burden to you.
You will burn with impatience. But with no goal the whole thing clears itself, almost miraculously.
Try the day by day plan.
Medical men will tell you that alcoholics are all alike in at least one respect: they are
emotionally immature. In other words, alcoholics have not learned to think like adults.
The child, lying in bed at night, becomes frightened by a shadow on the wall, and hides
his head under the covers. The adult, seeing the same shadow, knows there is a logical
reason for it. He sees the streetlight, then the bedpost, and he knows what causes the
shadow. He has simply done what the child is incapable of doing -- THOUGHT. And through
thinking he has avoided fear. Learn to think things out. Take a thought and follow it
through to its conclusion. If you are tempted to take a drink, reason out for yourself
what will happen. Because if you give serious consideration to the consequences you will
have the battle won.
SO YOU'RE DIFFERENT! So you think you are not an alcoholic!
As many Alcoholics Anonymous have gone off the deep end for that kind of thinking as
almost all the other reasons combined. If you have all the symptoms your sponsor will
tell you about and that you hear about at meetings, rest assured you are an alcoholic
and no different from the rest of the breed. But don't make the mistake of finding it
out the hard way -- by experimenting with liquor. You will find it a painful experience
and will only learn that you are NOT different.
AT MEETINGS don't criticize the leader. He has his own problems and is doing his best to
solve them. Help him along by standing up and saying a few words. He will appreciate your
kindness and thoughtfulness.
DON'T criticize the methods of others. Strangely enough, you may change your own ideas
as you become older in sobriety. Remember there are a dozen roads from New York to
Chicago, but they all land in Chicago.
WHAT'S YOUR HURRY? Perhaps you don't feel you are getting the hang of this
program as rapidly as you should. Forget it. It probably took you years to get in this
condition. You certainly cannot expect a complete cure overnight. You are not expected to
grasp the entire program in one day. No one else has ever done that, so it certainly is not
expected of you. Even the earliest members are learning something new about sober living
nearly every day. There is an old saying, "Easy does it." It is a motto that any alcoholic
could well ponder. A child learns to add and subtract in the lower grades. He is not
expected to do problems in algebra until he is in high school. Sobriety is a thing that must
be learned step by step. If anything puzzles you, ask your new friends about it, or forget it
for the time being. The time is not so far away when you will have a good understanding of
the entire program. Meantime, EASY DOES IT!
THE A.A. PROGRAM is not a "cure," in the accepted sense of the word. There is no
known "cure" for alcoholism except complete abstinence. It has been definitely proved that
an alcoholic can never again be a normal drinker. The disease, however, can be arrested.
How soon you will be cured of a desire to drink is another matter. That depends entirely
upon how quickly you can succeed in changing your fundamental outlook on life. For as
your outlook changes for the better, desire will become less pronounced, until it disappears
almost entirely. It may be weeks or it may be months. Your sincerity and your capacity for
working with others on the A.A. program will determine the length of time. Earlier in this
pamphlet it was advised to keep relatives away from the hospital. The reason was explained.
But after the patient leaves the hospital, it would be [useful] to bring the wife, husband,
or other close relative to [an A.A.] meeting. It will give them a clearer understanding of
the program and enable them to cooperate more intelligently and more closely in the period
of readjustment.
DIET AND REST play an important part in the rehabilitation of an alcoholic. For
many, we bludgeoned ourselves physically, eating improper foods, sleeping with the aid of
alcohol. In our drinking days we ate a bowl of chili or a hamburger sandwich because they
were filling and cheap. We sacrificed good food so we would have more money for
whiskey. We were the living counterparts of the old joke: "What, buying bread? And not a
drop of whiskey in the house!" Our rest was the same. We slept when we passed out. We
were the ones who turned out the streetlights and rolled up the sidewalks. We now find
that it is wise to eat balanced meals at regular hours, and get the proper amount of
sleep without the unhealthy aid of liquor and sleeping pills. Vitamin B1 (thiamin hydrochloride)
or B complex will help steady our nerves and build up a vitamin deficiency.
Fresh vegetables and fruits will help. In fact, it is a wise move to consult a physician,
possibly have a complete physical examination. Your doctor will then recommend a course in
vitamins, a balanced diet, and advise you as to rest. The reason for this advice is simple.
If we are undernourished and lack rest we become irritable and nervous. In this condition our
tempers get out of control, our feelings are easily wounded, and we get back to the old and
dangerous thought processes -- "Oh, to hell with it. I'll get drunk and show 'em."
MANY MEMBERS OF A.A. find it helpful, even after a long period of sobriety, to
add an extra ration of carbohydrates to their diet. Alcohol turns to sugar in the body, and
when we deprive ourselves of alcohol our bodies cry for sugar. This often manifests itself in
a form of nervousness. Carry candy in your pocket. Keep it in your home. Eat desserts.
Try an occasional ice cream soda or malted milk. You may find that it solves a problem by
calming your nerves.
Letter to Bill Wilson from Dr. Carl Jung (Downloadable PDF version of this file)
Dear Mr. Wilson
Your letter has been very welcome indeed. I had no news
from Roland H. anymore and often wondered what has been
his fate. Our conversation which he has adequately reported
to you had an aspect of which he did not know. The reason
that I could not tell him everything was that those days I had
to be exceedingly careful of what I said. I had found out that
I was misunderstood in every possible way. Thus I was very
careful when I talked to Roland H. But what I really thought
about was the result of many experiences with men of his kind.
His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of
the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in
medieval language: the union with God.* How could one
formulate such an insight in a language that is not misunderstood
in our days? The only right and legitimate way to such an
experience is that it happens to you in reality and it can
only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads
you to higher understanding. You might be led to that goal by
an act of grace or through a personal and honest contact with
friends, or through a higher education of the mind beyond the
confines of mere rationalism. I see from your letter that Roland H.
has chosen the second way, which was, under the circumstances,
obviously the best one. I am strongly convinced that the evil
principle prevailing in this world leads the unrecognized spiritual
need into perdition, if it is not counteracted either by real
religious insight or by the protective wall of human community.
An ordinary man, not protected by an action from above and
isolated in society, cannot resist the power of evil, which is
called very aptly the Devil. But the use of such words arouses
so many mistakes that one can only keep aloof from them as
much as possible. These are the reasons why I could not give
a full and sufficient explanation to Roland H., but I am risking it
with you because I conclude from your very decent and honest
letter that you have acquired a point of view above the misleading
platitudes one usually hears about alcoholism. You see, "alcohol"
in Latin is "spiritus" and you use the same word for the highest
religious experience as well as for the most depraving poison.
The helpful formula therefore is: spiritus contra spiritum.
Thanking you again for your kind letter
I remain
Yours sincerely
C. G. Jung
In Parting
Can you say in Parting; of the day that's slipping fast,
That you helped a single person, of the many you have passed.
Is a single soul rejoicing, over what you've done or said; and
can someone who's faith was fading, now with courage look ahead.
Did you waste the day or lose it, was it well or poorly spent?
Did you leave a ray of hope; or a scar of discontent?
And as you close your eyes in slumber; do you think that God might say,
you have made the world a little better; for the life you lived today.- Anonymous
The Final Barrier To God
Every single thing is unique. Every sparrow is
unlike every other sparrow despite similarities.
It's a great help to have similarities, so
we can abstract, so that we can have a concept.
It's a great help, from the point of view of
communication, education, science. But it's
also very misleading and a great hindrance.
If all you experience is your concept, you're
not experiencing reality, because reality is
CONCRETE. The concept is a help, to LEAD you to
reality, but when you get there, you've got to
intuit or experience it directly.-Anthony De Mello
On Waking Up
Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don’t know it,
are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their
sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep
without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and
the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know ~ all
mystics ~ Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their
theology, no matter what their religion ~ are unanimous on one thing:
that all is well, all is well. Thought everything is a mess, all is well.
Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to
see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.
Last year on Spanish television I heard a story about this gentleman
who knocks on his son’s door. "Jaime," he says, "wake up!" Jaime answers,
"I don’t want to get up, Papa." The father shouts, "Get up, you have
to go to school." Jaime says, "I don’t want to go to school." "Why not?"
asks the father. "Three reasons," says Jaime. First, because it’s
so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school. And the
father says, "Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must
go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are
forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster."
Wake up! Wake up!
You’ve grown up.
You’re too big to be asleep.
Wake up! Stop playing with your toys.
Most people tell you they want to get out of kindergarten, but don’t
believe them. Don’t believe them! All they want you to do is to mend
their broken toys. "Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give
me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success." This is
what they want; they want their toys replaced. That’s all. Even the
best psychologist will tell you that, that people don’t really want
to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.
Waking up is unpleasant, you know. You are nice and comfortable in bed.
It is irritating to be woken up. That’s the reason the wise guru will
not attempt to wake people up. I hope I’m going to be wise here and
make no attempt whatsoever to wake you up if you are asleep. It is
really none of my business, even though I say to you at times, "Wake up!"
My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance. If you profit from
it fine; if you don’t, too bad! As the Arabs say, "The nature of rain
is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers
in the gardens.
-Anthony De Mello
From The Power Of Now & Stillness Speaks
Having access to that formless realm is truly liberating. It frees you from bondage to form and
identification with form. It is life in its undifferentiated state prior to its fragmentation
into multiplicity. We may call it the Unmanifested, the invisible Source of all things, the Being
within all beings. It is a realm of deep stillness and peace, but also of joy and intense aliveness.
Whenever you are present, you become "transparent" to some extent to the light, the pure
consciousness that emanates from this Source. You also realize that the light is not separate
from who you are but constitutes your very essence.
Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words,
judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship. It comes between you and yourself,
between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature, between you and God. It is this
screen of thought that creates the illusion of separateness, the illusion that there is you
and a totally separate "other." You then forget the essential fact that, underneath the level
of physical appearances and separate forms, you are one with all that is.
Being is not only beyond but also deep within every form as its innermost invisible and
indestructible essence. This means that it is accessible to you now as your own deepest self,
your true nature. But don't seek to grasp it with your mind. Don't try to understand it. You can
know it only when the mind is still. When you are present, when your attention is fully and
intensely in the Now, Being can be felt, but it can never be understood mentally. To regain
awareness of Being and to abide in that state of "feeling-realization" is enlightenment.
Be present as the watcher of your mind -- of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions
in various situations. Be at least as interested in your reactions as in the situation or person
that causes you to react. Notice also how often your attention is in the past or future.
Don't judge or analyze what you observe. Watch the thought, feel the emotion, observe the reaction.
Don't make a personal problem out of them. You will then feel something more powerful than any
of those things that you observe: the still, observing presence itself behind the content of your
mind, the silent watcher.
You are not just a meaningless fragment in an alien universe, briefly suspended between life and
death, allowed a few short-lived pleasures followed by pain and ultimate annihilation. Underneath
your outer form, you are connected with something so vast, so immeasurable and sacred, that it
cannot be spoken of - yet I am speaking of it now. I am speaking of it now not to give you something
to believe in but to show you how you can know it for yourself.
The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes
to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being. It is a state
of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically,
is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond name and form.
Beyond the beauty of external forms, there is more here: something that cannot be named, something
ineffable, some deep, inner, holy essence. Whenever and wherever there is beauty, this inner essence
shines through somehow. It only reveals itself to you when you are present.
Many expressions that are in common usage, and sometimes the structure of language itself, reveal
the fact that people don't know who they are. You say: "He lost his life" or "my life," as if life
were something that you can possess or lose. The truth is: you don't have a life, you are life.
The One Life, the one consciousness that pervades the entire universe and takes temporary form to
experience itself as a stone or blade of grass, as an animal, a person, a star or a galaxy.
Can you sense deep within that you already know that? Can you sense that you already are That?
The Truth is far more all-encompassing than the mind could ever comprehend. No thought can encapsulate
the Truth. At best, it can point to it. For example, it can say: "All things are intrinsically one."
That is a pointer, not an explanation. Understanding these words means feeling deep within you the truth
to which they point.
When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with
yourself, you lose yourself in the world. Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable
from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form.
Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" --- and
find that there is no death. Reincarnation doesn't help you if in your next incarnation you still don't
know who you are.
All the misery on the planet arises due to a personalized sense of "me" or "us." That covers up the
essence of who you are. When you are unaware of that inner essence, in the end you always create misery.
It's as simple as that. When you don't know who you are, you create a mind-made self as a substitute for
your beautiful divine being and cling to that fearful and needy self. Protecting and enhancing that
false sense of self then becomes your primary motivating force.
As long as you are unable to access the power of the Now, every emotional pain that you experience leaves
behind a residue of pain that lives on in you.
When your consciousness is directed outward, mind and world arise. When it is directed inward, it realizes
its own Source and returns home into the Unmanifested.
Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will
affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships
been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may continue to pursue the goal of
salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that
the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you
salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into
this world. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion,
and madness.
When you walk through a forest that has not been tamed and interfered with by man, you will see not
only abundant life all around you, but you will also encounter fallen trees and decaying trunks, rotting
leaves and decomposing matter at every step. Wherever you look, you will find death as well as life.
Upon closer scrutiny, however, you will discover that the decomposing tree trunk and rotting leaves
not only give birth to new life, but are full of life themselves. Microorganisms are at work.
Molecules are rearranging themselves. So death isn't to be found anywhere. There is only the
metamorphosis of life forms. What can you learn from this? Death is not the opposite of life.
Life has no opposite. The opposite of death is birth. Life is eternal.
- Eckhart Tolle
The Undiscovered Self
Somebody came up to me once during a conference and asked, "What about 'Our Lady of Fatima'?" What do you think of her? When I am asked questions like that, I am reminded of the story of the time they were taking the statue of Our Lady of Fatima on an airplane to a pilgrimage for worship, and as they were flying over the South of France the plane began to wobble and to shake and it looked like it was going to come apart. And the miraculous statue cried out, "Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!" And all was well. Wasn't it wonderful, one "Our Lady" helping another "Our Lady"?
There was also a group of a thousand people who went on a pilgrimage to Mexico City to venerate the shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe and sat down before the statue in protest because the Bishop of the Diocese had declared "Our Lady of Lourdes" patroness of the diocese! They were sure that Our Lady of Guadalupe felt this very much, so they were doing the protest in REPARATION for the offense. That's the trouble with religion, if you don't watch out.
When I speak to Hindus, I tell them, "Your priests are not going to be happy to hear this" (notice how prudent I am this morning), "but God would be much happier, according to Jesus Christ, if you were transformed than if you worshipped. He would be much more pleased by your loving than by your adoration." And when I talk to Moslems, I say, "Your Ayatollah and your mullahs are not going to be happy to hear this, but God is going to be much more pleased by your being transformed into a loving person than by saying, "Lord, Lord." It's infinitely more important that you be waking up. That's spirituality, that's everything. If you have that, you have God. Then you worship "in spirit and in truth." When you become love, when you are transformed into love. The danger of what religion can do is very nicely brought out in a story told by Cardinal Martini, the Archbishop of Milan. The story has to do with an Italian couple that's getting married. They have an arrangement with the parish priest to have a little reception in the parish courtyard outside the church. But it rained, and they couldn't have the reception, so they said to the priest, "Would it be all right if we had the celebration in the church?"
Now Father wasn't one bit happy about having a reception in the church, but they said, "We will eat a little cake, sing a little song, drink a little wine, and then go home." So Father was persuaded. But being good life-loving Italians they drank a little wine, sang a little song, then drank a little more wine, and sang some more songs, and within a half hour there was a great celebration going on in the church. And everybody was having a great time, lots of fun and frolic. But Father was all tense, pacing up and down in the sacristy, all upset about the noise they were making. The assistant pastor comes in and says, "I see you are quite tense."
"Of course, I'm tense. Listen to all the noise they are making, and in the House of God!, for heaven's sake!"
"Well, Father, they really had no place to go."
"I know that! But do they have to make all that racket?"
"Well, we mustn't forget, must we, Father, that Jesus himself was once present at a wedding!"
Father says, "I know Jesus Christ was present at a wedding banquet, YOU don't have to tell me Jesus Christ was present at a wedding banquet! But they didn't have the Blessed Sacrament there!!!"
You know there are times like that when the Blessed Sacrament becomes more important than Jesus Christ. When worship becomes more important than love, when the Church becomes more important than life. When God becomes more important than the neighbor. And so it goes on. That's the danger. To my mind this is what Jesus was evidently calling us to -- first things first! The human being is much more important than the Sabbath.. Doing what I tell you, namely, becoming what I am indicating to you, is much more important than Lord, Lord. But your mullah is not going to be happy to hear that, I assure you. Your priests are not going to be happy to hear that. Not generally. So that's what we have been talking about. Spirituality. Waking up. And as I told you, it is extremely important if you want to wake up to go in for what I call "self observation." Be aware of what you're saying, be aware of what you're doing, be aware of what you're thinking, be aware of how you're acting. Be aware of where you're coming from, what your motives are. The unaware life is not worth living.
The unaware life is a mechanical life. It's not human, it's programmed, conditioned. We might as well be a stone, a block of wood. In the country where I come from, you have hundreds of thousands of people living in little hovels, in extreme poverty, who just manage to survive, working all day long, hard manual work, sleep and then wake up in the morning, eat something, and start all over again. And you sit back and think, "What a life." "Is that all that life holds in store for them?" And then you're suddenly jolted into the realization that 99.999% of people here are not much better. You can go to the movies, drive around in a car, you can go for a cruise. Do you think you are much better off than they are? You are just as dead as they are. Just as much a machine as they are -- a slightly bigger one, but a machine nevertheless. That's sad. It's sad to think that people go through life like this.
People go through life with fixed ideas; they never change. They're just not aware of what's going on. They might as well be a block of wood, or a rock, a talking, walking, thinking machine. That's not human. They are puppets, jerked around by all kinds of things. Press a button and you get a reaction. You can almost predict how this person is going to react. If I study a person, I can tell you just how he or she is going to react. With my therapy group, sometimes I write on a piece of paper that so-and-so is going to start the session and so-and-so will reply. Do you think that's bad? Well, don't listen to people who say to you, "Forget yourself! Go out in love to others." Don't listen to them! They're all wrong. The worst thing you can do is forget yourself when you go out to others in the so called helping attitude.
This was brought home to me very forcibly many years ago when I did my studies in psychology in Chicago. We had a course in counseling for priests. It was open only to priests who were actually engaged in counseling and who agreed to bring a taped session to class. There must have been about twenty of us. When it was my turn, I brought a cassette with an interview I had had with a young woman. The instructor put it in a recorder and we all began to listen to it. After five minutes, as was his custom, the instructor stopped the tape and asked, "Any comments?" Someone said to me, "Why did you ask her that question?" I said, "I'm not aware that I asked her a question. As a matter of fact, I'm quite sure I did not ask any questions." He said, "You did." I was quite sure because at that time I was consciously following the method of Carl Rogers, which is person-oriented and non directive. You don't ask questions and you don't interrupt or give advice. So I was very aware that I mustn't ask questions. Anyway, there was a dispute between us, so the instructor said, "Why don't we play the tape again?" So we played it again and there, to my horror, was a whopping big question, as tall as the Empire State Building, a huge question. The interesting thing to me was that I had heard that question three times, the first time, presumably, when I asked it, the second time when I listened to the tape in my room (because I wanted to take a good tape to class), and the third time when I heard it in the classroom. But it hadn't registered! I wasn't aware.
That happens frequently in my therapy sessions or in my spiritual direction. We tape-record the interview, and when the client listens to it, he or she says, "You know, I didn't really hear what you said during the interview. I only heard what you said when I listened to the tape." More interestingly, I didn't hear what I said during the interview. It's shocking to discover that I'm saying things in a therapy session that I'm not aware of. The full import of them only dawns on me later. Do you call that human? "Forget yourself and go out to others," you say! Anyhow, after we listened to the whole tape there in Chicago, the instructor said, "Are there any comments?" One of the priests, a fifty year old man to whom I had taken a liking, said to me, "Tony, I'd like to ask you a personal question. Would that be all right?" I said, "Yes, go ahead. If I don't want to answer it, I won't." He said, "Is this woman in the interview pretty?"
You know, honest to goodness, I was at a stage of my development (or undevelopment) where I didn't notice if someone was good-looking or not. It didn't matter to me. She was a sheep of Christ's flock; I was a pastor. I dispensed help. Isn't that great! It was the way we were trained. So I said to him, "What's that got to do with it?" He said, "Because you don't like her, do you?" I said, "What?!"
It hadn't ever struck me that I liked or disliked individuals. Like most people, I had an occasional dislike that would register in consciousness, but my attitude was mostly neutral. I asked, "What makes you say that?" He said, "The tape." We went through the tape again, and he said, "Listen to your voice. Notice how sweet it has become. You're irritated, aren't you?" I was, and I was only becoming aware of it right there. And what was I saying to her non-directively? I was saying, "Don't come back." But I wasn't aware of that. My priest friend said, "She's a woman. She will have picked this up. When are you supposed to meet her next?" I said, "Next Wednesday." He said, "My guess is she won't come back." She didn't. I waited one week but she didn't come. I waited another week and she didn't come. Then I called her. I broke one of my rules: Don't be the rescuer.
I called her and said to her, "Remember that tape you allowed me to make for the class? It was a great help because the class pointed out all kinds of things to me" (I didn't tell her what!) "that would make the session somewhat more effective. So if you care to come back, that would make it more effective." She said, "All right, I'll come back." She did. The dislike was still there. It hadn't gone away, but it wasn't getting in the way. What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you. You are always a slave to what you're not aware of. When you're aware of it, you're free from it. It's there, but you're not affected by it. You're not controlled by it; you're not enslaved by it. That's the difference.
Awareness, awareness, awareness, awareness. What they trained us to do in that course was to become participant observers. To put it somewhat graphically, I'd be talking to you and at the same time I'd be out there watching you and watching me. When I'm listening to you, it's infinitely more important for me to listen to me than to listen to you. Of course, it's important to listen to you, but it's more important that I listen to me. Otherwise I won't be hearing you. Or I'll be distorting everything you say. I'll be coming at you from my own conditioning. I'll be reacting to you in all kinds of ways from my insecurities, from my need to manipulate you, from my desire to succeed, from irritations and feelings that I might not be aware of. So it's frightfully important that I listen to me when I'm listening to you. That's what they were training us to do, obtaining awareness.
You don't always have to imagine yourself hovering somewhere in the air. Just to get a rough idea of what I'm talking about, imagine a good driver, driving a car, who's concentrating on what you're saying. In fact, he may even be having an argument with you, but he's perfectly aware of the road signals. The moment anything untoward happens, the moment there's any sound, or noise, or bump, he'll hear it at once. He'll say, "Are you sure you closed that door back there?" How did he do that? He was aware, he was alert. The focus of his attention was on the conversation, or argument, but his awareness was more diffused. He was taking in all kinds of things.
What I'm advocating here is not concentration. That's not important. Many meditative techniques inculcate concentration, but I'm leery of that. They involve violence and frequently they involve further programming and conditioning. What I would advocate is awareness, which is not the same as concentration at all. Concentration is a spotlight. You can be distracted from that, but when you're practicing awareness, you're never distracted. Awareness is a floodlight. You're open to anything that comes within the scope of your consciousness. When awareness is turned on, there's never any distraction, because you're always aware of whatever happens to be.
Say I'm looking at those trees and I'm worrying. Am I distracted? I am distracted only if I mean to concentrate on the trees. But if I'm aware that I'm worried, too, that isn't a distraction at all. Just be aware of where your attention goes. When anything goes awry or anything untoward happens, you'll be alerted at once. Something's going wrong! The moment any negative feeling comes into consciousness, you'll be alerted. You're like the driver of the car.
I told you that St. Teresa of Avila said God gave her the grace of disidentifying herself with herself. You hear children talk that way. A two-year-old says, "Tommy had his breakfast this morning." He doesn't say "I," although he is Tommy. He says "Tommy" -- in the third person. Mystics feel that way. They have disidentified from themselves and they are at peace.
This was the grace St. Teresa was talking about. This is the "I" that the mystic masters of the East are constantly urging people to discover. And those of the West, too! And you can count Meister Eckhart among them. They are urging people to discover the "I."-Anthony de Mello, SJ
Considerations on the first three steps (Downloadable PDF version of this file)
(Note: This is intended as a guided meditation)
Without opening your eyes, staying in that place, which is the place where truth comes from, where God is: both in and outside of you; all around you.
Is this work as outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous what I want to do?
Am I willing to go to any length; even though I may not know what that may look like; to do this work and to seek God's will?
Why?
Why do I need to do this work?
And why with the group or person I've chosen?
Am I willing to look at and begin to admit to the areas of my life where I am being dishonest with myself and others?
Am I willing to ask that which I believe in; in my way, from my own heart, for an open mind and a new experience with the things that I would like to have an open mind and a new experience with?
Do I believe this book is layed out to show other alcoholics precisely how to recover and that’s the main purpose of this book?
Am I willing to admit from where I am now, that in and of myself, without God that I am nothing - and without God I am lost?
Does my experience abundantly confirm that once I put alcohol and or drugs into my system something happens where I lose control over the amount I take once I start?
Am I willing to look at that with alcohol?
Am I willing to look at that with drugs?
Or whatever my problem might be?
Whatever the symptoms of my problem might be?
These are the symptoms but it's very important to have a clear first half of step one.
If I'm scattered with many, many issues, and many, many problems; I will continue to feel scattered.
I should start with my primary symptom.
Am I willing to ask God to help me concede to my inner most self, the truth of my first step?
Am I convinced that I am not like other people or presently?
Has that idea been smashed, that drunk or sober; I am an alcoholic and I cannot manage my own life?
Am I convinced that at a certain time; and I might not know when that certain time might be, how it would feel, or what it would look like; that there will be no effective mental defense against the first drink or drug - and that no human being, no human power can provide that defense?
And am I convinced that whatever it is that I'm powerless over; whatever the truth is in the first half of step 1 for me; that my defense must come from a higher power?
Do I believe I'm suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer?
And do I have any other alternatives but the two on page 25;
1: to go on the best I can; blotting out the consciousness of my situation the best I can, dying an alcoholic and or drug addicted life or
2: to live on a spiritual basis?
Do I have any other alternatives?
Is lack of power my dilemma?
And do I need a power by which I can live?
And am I committed to finding out where and how to find that power?
Do I now believe or am even willing to believe that there is a Power greater than myself, that can take beyond where I am, with everything I've seen in the first step: my trouble with personal relationships, my emotional nature, my dependencies, medication, love, effectiveness, work, passion, passionate life, money, being of real help to other people, past where I am with fear?
Do I believe God can take me past here?
And not only do I believe; but can he?
Am I willing to face the doubt and reservations I have about; will He, for me, as I am, with the truth that I've seen in step 1?
Am I willing to face my doubt?
Am I willing to ask to be shown my current agnosticism?
And do I see that my current agnosticism is the same and only a reflection of the current unmanageability, the manifestations of page 52, as they are now?
Can I see that that is my agnosticism?
Am I willing to face my current situation, surrender to a self-imposed crisis, that I can no longer blame on anyone else or anything else; that I can no longer postpone or that I can no longer evade?
Am I willing - without fear -- without fear - to face the proposition that God is either everything or he is nothing; to choose that he is, or to choose now that he isn't?
If you're new, if you're old, if you're in between; please don't think that you can't choose either one.
You can do the work from a place to be shown.
You can do the work from a place that you choose God is nothing.
You can choose that He isn't.
You can choose to be shown.
You will have a much easier time that those that think they're big time, true believers.
Have I faced my doubt?
Have I faced my prejudice, my worship of things, of people, of sentiment, of money, of myself, of the worship I have of my mind, my ideas, my notes, and or what I've learned?
Did I really mean what I said in my set aside prayer?
Do I really want an open mind and a new experience?
Or do I want to add to what I already know?
Am I willing to abandon it all - utterly?
So with the work I've done up to this moment; up to this day, in the first step; body, mind, spirit, with the work I've done in the 2nd step with looking at what I've seen drunk or sober:
Am I convinced that I'm an alcoholic and or a drug addict or whatever your truth is and that my life is unmanageable?
NOW?
Sober?
Can I move my life past where I am?
Even with the amount of power I currently have?
Am I willing to face at this point what I've done with Grace, what I do with Power, what I do with all that I've been given and see that within the realization of the Grace of God in my life - weather it's one day or twenty-five years – that in the middle of the realization of the Grace of God in your life, is where a fearless first step will be?
If there's any fear left to face the proposition that God is everything or nothing; then there's a piece of self that has a reservation about alcohol.
Because if you’re afraid of drinking again, if you’re afraid of facing any of this stuff: you will not meet the condition that says you must fearlessly face the proposition God is everything or nothing.
And if there is fear; am I willing to look thru it and see that there’s a part of self that believes I, without God, can do something about those fears?
Am I really convinced that no human power can relieve what I suffer from?
NO HUMAN POWER?
And am willing to believe that God not only can; but that he will, for me; if I seek him?
And do I believe that God will give me the Power to seek Him?
Am I convinced that my life run on my will is not successful?
With the Power, with the Grace that I've been given; if I've clearly seen the unmanageability that I currently have, if I’ve really seen the current agnosticism that I have; am I willing to believe that God can and Will for me - take me past where I am, and that my life, as I currently am when I’m running on self will; outside of God's will does not work?
Can I see clearly that selfishness and self centeredness is the root of what I suffer from?
And that driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity; I step on the toes of my fellows and they retaliate?
And that I make decisions based on self at some time in the past, which has placed me in a position to be hurt, confused, and baffled?
And at the same time that that suffering has created a desire to move past where I am - to be moved past where I am?
Can I see the freedom in the fact that my troubles are of my own making and that I am not a victim of the things that I have seen in that unmanageability, in that agnosticism, in that list of areas where I'm running my life on self will which will become my inventory?